Again and again

Why does this keep repeating? This never-fucking-ending circle of tears and sadness?
When you hold my hand, I feel sparks in my whole body. Like you're electric - in a good way.
When you kiss me, I feel so completely complete - Like I've never been broken before.
But when you lie, I get so scared. It's like my heart bursts and my brain stops working - Like I just have to escape.

We've been here before but now we're here again. You sit there, crying, I stand up, looking awkwardly at you, refusing to hold you when you cry. I know why you cry - You can't handle it when you break me over and over again. I know you love me, but...
I'm broken again. You did it again. You screwed me over like so many times before. And I'm at the point where I can't cry. I won't. I won't let you see me weak. I have to be strong with or without you. What's the difference anyway? Being miserable with you or miserable without you? ... No, there's this huge difference. Being miserable with you has always been the only thing I wanted.
You know who I am and I know who you are. You have to live with me being permanently broken. I've been hurt way too many times to be whole - but with you, you give me the illusion of being complete. With you I experience what it's like to be happy, if only for a few minutes. And that's why I can't let you go - you give me a little piece of heaven.

I can be pensive,

You can be so sure. You'll be the poison, You'll be the cure I'm alone on the journey, I'm alive none the less, And when you do your very worst, Mmmmm it feels the best.
And you'll fall down a hole. That's the one place we both know. You take me with you if you could,  but I wouldn't go. I guess sometimes we both loose our minds, and find a better road.