Mood-killer

Yesterday I went to Copenhagen Zoo with my sister and mom. It was pretty sunny and after a few hours I got these red marks all over my legs. I tried not to get sad because of it, but I could easily see everybody was staring at my legs. It really bothered me. So then my mom noticed and she began to laugh and call me physically handicapped. It almost made me cry. How I look is like everything to me. If I have a bad hair-day, then my day is automatically going to be crappy.

And my love-life right now is just dead. It's like non-existing. The spark is gone. There's nothing left. But I probably just feel like that because I haven't seen her in about a week. I'm like addicted. 

Going to the boarding school is gonna be awesome - away from the family but closer to my girlfriend. And I know everything seems broken, but I hope we can fix it again. I can't bare to see it die. I ain't ready. If I had the chance, I would hold her forever in my arms and never let go of her, but it seems so difficult when my life is such a fucked up mess. I lose friends, I can't stand my family, I feel bad about myself, so at least, God or whoever is up there, please, let me keep her in my life.