Unloved

I've never felt so alone before. I have never been so goddamn depressed and I see no way out of it. I just lay in my bed all day and when I do anything except for sleeping, I eat. I don't even want to it. I just do it to have something to do. I have this fucking headache all the time and I just feel like an empty shell.
And no one is trying to help me. I'm so alone and I can't deal with the loneliness anymore. I'm crying constantly and my mom and sister keeps asking what is wrong. Every time they do, I just want to reply; "What is NOT wrong?" 


But after all, they never feel lonely. They never feel let down. They have each other. And mom is treating my sister like she's the only daughter she cares about. What about me? Why don't I get an iPhone? Why don't I get a horse? Why doesn't she buy me new clothes all the time? It all revolves around my younger sister.
And it would be nice just to feel a little loved sometimes. But well, who cares? I'm not even worth it. So just leave me all by myself and let me drown in my own sorrow. I don't give a fuck. 


Everything just goes wrong right now. It goes like shit with the girlfriend, with the family, with the money, with the friends and the future. I don't even see my future anymore. What the hell.. And the most depressing thing is; I don't care about my future. I just want to be happy right here and right now. But neither do I deserve that.