.. "I can't take her,"

I listened to one of my dads conversations with my mom. He thought I listened to music, because I had my headset on. But I heard every word he said, and wow.. I never thought I could feel this unloved. 

"I can't take her, "

"She's fucking dumb,"

"She messes up my life"

- If your own dad doesn't even love you, then who does? Seriously? I've never felt this let down before.How can you say stuff like that about your own daughter? I am so hurt and tomorrow I'm going to sleep at my mom's house. Let's see if that's better. I'm not quite sure, but at least she's not drunk as he is all the time.

And yes.. This evening there is no dinner. Again.

I have tried to behave and treat him well, but.. I guess that's not enough for him. I do the dishes, I clean up, I say that it's okay when he's drinking, I listen to him and his drunk-talk. But nothing is good enough.

I just want a life that's better than this.

I have not deserved this. I know I'm better off without my family, and one day I'll leave this fucking place. I'll get a career and laugh them all in the face and say 'Haha, and you always made fun of me and said that I had no future!'

- And even if I fall into the alcohol and becomes fucked up like you, then my excuse is;

"My parents made me who I am"