Is it okay?

I have this doubt, this insecurity. If you are in a relationship, would it be okay for me to be attracted to another girl? To look at a girl that's not my girlfriend and think 'Wow, I would totally bang her'
I mean, I really love my girlfriend, I really do, but does that mean I can't be attracted to a beautiful girl? It's human nature. One thing is being attracted to another, but acting on it? I would never. Never, ever in my life. I just don't know, should I tell her? I won't lie to her or keep secrets from her, like she did to me. That would be totally messed up. Right?

I'm turned on by that 'Oh-you-can't-have-me-attitude'. I like it, it's sexy. A bad girl, call it what you want to. The girl everybody wants. That's my type of girl. She was like that when I first met her and I never imagined her being mine this day today. I imagined myself running after her for a year or two and then find another victim for my love. But that's not how it ended up. She gave up the other girls and chose to be mine. She promised me forever and I gladly accepted it - Of course I did, I was crazy about her.
But we're stuck. Stuck in routines. Stuck in a relationship where everything has become boring. I want us to last, I really do, but there's nothing fun, nothing exciting. I want hot sex, on the floor, against the wall. I want that 'Fuck me' whispered in my ear. I need something I can't have.
I would never leave her. Never. She's the apple of my eye, my honeyboo - see, I would never call her things like that in the beginning. She would just be called 'the one I can never have'. But now she loves me and would give me the world. I know. She would die for me like I would die for her.

But I watch these tv-series. The L Word, Lip Service. There's these girls who just fucks every girl they lay their eyes on. They seduce them, they fucks them and leaves them. I don't know why but to me, that's so freakin' attractive and hot. I used to be this romantic girl, dreaming of spending forever with the girl of my dreams. But now it has changed. What's wrong with me? I want a girl who can rock my world and make me cum just by kissing me. Oh God.

Fuck this
I would never cheat. Never, and so will I never leave her or hurt her.
My love, my life, my beautiful girl. 

I'll go to bed now, fuck.