Oh shit...

I don't even know what to write. A lot of stuff has happened these days and it's all so overwhelming.


Losing a friend is never easy and I miss her like hell. My best friend for four years. I hung out with her every day and she was like the apple of my eye but because of a mess she created, I freaked out and then she freaked out because I freaked out and now we're here. Scattered and broken.
It feels like a bad breakup. I wish I could get her back but I know it wouldn't work out. Some things can't be fixed and I don't think me and her can neither, though I would give everything. But I'm so sensitive and she's spoiled. I just don't know... Maybe we just grew apart. That's common when getting older, right?
And the horse I used to ride is now sold.


Everything just seem so complicated and fucked up at the moment. I just want to forget and move on. I deserve to be happy. Everybody does.
Soon I'm going to the boarding school. A new start, a new beginning. I'm looking forward to it, but now I begin to feel the fear. What if they don't like me? If I end up lonely and hated. Then I would probably just leave and take home, even though my mom dislike me for it.


Fuck this shit...