This thing that breaks my heart.

Maybe I'm just not ready to be in a relationship? I mean, I really love my girl with all my heart, but maybe I'm not emotionally stable enough? Sometimes I get these blackout's where I refuse to talk to her and I just throw my phone into the wall with anger with no fucking reason. It bothers me. I want her, I want her in my life. But sometimes I feel like we're not going anywhere. I want us to move, want us to move forward, hand in hand. Lips to lips.
I've been thinking about running away, taking the easy way out. I don't feel wanted. I feel unloved, miserable. It's like she doesn't want my body anymore. I need the intimacy between us, is it really that wrong?

But still.. I'm young, only 16. I've almost always been in a relationship. Never had a one night-stand. Never kissed a person for no reason. Just for love. Love. Fuck this love. I want to spend my life with a person I love, but if the person doesn't want me anymore, then what's the point in staying? I know she loves me but if she doesn't want my body, then I should just take my things and leave.

I'm so lost in this labyrinth of emotions, love and attraction.
This thing that breaks my heart.