Okay..

I actually feel better now. Yes we were fighting, but I told him what I meant and said that I would be waiting. I needed him to know that. I know, I know, I'm wasting my time, because she is holding him back and he loves her more than his own life. He won't let her down, he won't go against her. That's okay. My previous relationship were like that so I know how it feels.
But the hole in my chest has grown smaller. It's like I can breathe somehow normal now. I'm pissed off, but somehow, someway, I'm kind of happy. Is that wrong? .. Just writing with him made my heart sing.
I miss him, but I can wait. I will be waiting for him with my arms wide open.