It's the first time in a long time I've felt this alive. This night I was unstoppable. None of all the things that usually breaks me down, could stop me. I didn't feel, I didn't even think, and it's the best feeling ever. Drinking. Laughing. Being happy. I didn't care about what happened or how it would end. I didn't care about friends, family or my girlfriend. The only thing that mattered was having a good time - and so I had.
Nevertheless; I will not drink like that again. I enjoyed it too much and I had this feeling, that if I could feel like that forever, then I would do it. That's called being an alcoholic, and I won't let that happen to me. Not like it did with my mom and my dad. And this hangover - Woah, I've never been so sick in my whole life.
But yes. This night I was happy. This night I lived. This night I felt alive.
.. Now it's time to get serious. Time for the exams. Wow. Time has gone so fast. I can't believe it, I'm soon starting a new life at the boarding school and afterwards I'll move out. Move in with my girlfriend, if we're still together at that time. It would be like a dream come true. Falling asleep every night, listening to her heartbeat, knowing she'll be there to hold me when the nightmares returns. Waking every morning, being able to kiss her good morning. I would be the happiest person on Earth, I guess. But I'm not sure. I'm not sure if it'll work out. Those lies. I have this feeling that it will continue. That is an addiction of hers.
But when she lies again. When she breaks my heart again; I won't be sticking around.
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