Stuck on loving you..

I doubt that..

Sometimes I regret I even met you. Sometimes I regret I ever wrote to you for the first time. I shouldn't have, because then I wouldn't feel this way. Betrayed, doubting and miserably in love with you. It's been nearly six months since we got together but I can't forget what happened, what you did to me. And every night, every fucking night I have nightmares about you being with someone else. I watch you kiss her lips, touch her body, every fucking night and I can't deal with this anymore. I wake up crying and feel like leaving every morning.
The worst part is; I would regret. If I ever left you, I would beg you to come back. To forgive me, and we would end up together again. And then again I would leave you and it would go on this circle of sorrow.
I wish I could trust you, but every time you touch me, I think; "She touch her with this hand," and on the inside I break into pieces. But I pretend like I don't even think about it anymore.
The truth is; it is haunting me. 

I want you to love me, I want you to care.
I want you to need me, I want you to want me.
I want to make you smile, and I want to make you mine.
But with every breath I take, with every word you say,
I know I can't go on,
Can't live with or without you another day. 

Why is the girl of my dreams the one who has to break my heart into shattered glass?
But she got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose.